Sick Fights, Lame Plot

Fatu Castillo

Staff Writer

Let me kick this off by saying that I knew exactly what I was going to get when I went to see Kong: Skull Island. I didn’t go into the movie theater expecting to be blown away by an intricate plot like Inception or delve into modern societal issues like in Her.

This is not a movie that will have you in tears while people filter out of the aisles nor will this movie compel you to contemplate society and technology the next time your phone dies and you’re bored.

So turn back and don’t waste your money if you want your emotions hammered like a punching bag or your thoughts challenged by a pretentious director that just had to make a point.

No, if I was looking for a movie that would blow me away with an amazing plot or deeping meanings then I’d be sorely disappointed.

I mean, dropping bombs on a random island? Because a crackpot researcher thinks there might be something there? Where was the government agent to say “Uh, Sir, that sounds a little too expensive.”

I paid money to see one thing and one thing only, sick monster fights on a giant screen. Let me tell you, I got my money’s worth.


Jordan Vogt-Roberts, the movie director, knew exactly who his target audience was and played right to them. Not even ten minutes in and Kong, all hail the king, was already on the screen.

He wasn’t beating anything up yet, which was a little bit disappointing, but he was still cool to look at. And it gave me the perfect taste of the what was in store for the rest of the movie.

It didn’t take long for hands to start being caught since the first fight scene was about fortyfive minutes. Watching Kong wretch-shop a bunch of military helicopters with added explosion noises and comical deaths was extremely pleasing.  

Sometimes, there wasn’t even a reason for hands to be thrown but they were, namely when a giant octopus attacked out of nowhere in water that was definitely too shallow for it to be in.

Why? Because senseless violence and epic soundtracks were exactly what me and the other there are dwellers paid for.

Good acting? Not so much.

By the time the movie was over, I could care less about the if the people lived or died. I still can’t wrap my head around why some of them were even in the movie.

Why would a government agent allow an obviously anti-government photographer to come along on a secret mission? Why would an otherwise level-headed intent go crazy with vengeance instead of saving his men?

I don’t know and I don’t care, I got to see soldier fight with a giant spider.

Would I recommend this movie? No, if you don’t want to waste money of forgettable characters and a lame plot. Yes, if you just want to watch sick monster fights.


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